Do you know that feeling?

That’s been me lately, and I’ve made sure everyone around me suffer by it. I skipped school today, because I didn’t have time for it. I think I’m old enough now to decide when I’m wasting my time, and self-confident enough to say no, and leave. I wish I was anyway, but recently I stayed, just because someone told me to do so when I was seven, and I said “yes” because six previous years of boredom was breathing down my neck..

Learning how to lead a life seems to take a long time. Constantly moving, flickering, I never quite grasp it. Right now I’m finishing off a three week intensive course on all matters related to design by showing a 15 minute film on quality time. I won’t be there. It will not matter.

I will be at the Habitare-fair, without a further mission. Mostly to make money, maybe to make friends. While trying to prepair for this I also should clean my appartment before my parents arrive. Poor them, I won’t be here.

I used to be really good at stress.. the daily breakdown and rebound, and the work got done. Now I’m falling apart for nothing. I’m trying to find that something, that acceptable reason for my rude behaviour. I think I just need some.. quality time. One-to-one, food, book, music, playing, walks, talks. Or rather, the abscence of absolutely everything.  Just like my will has gone blank lately, I think I need to erase my wants. Just be.

Well, not now. Now comes the endless cleaning. Who ever thought a white appartment was a good idea? And while I go to war you can entertain yourselves with my strangest youtube moment:

 http://www.youtube.com/user/TaikIntro09#grid/user/4BECBFF98164D4FC

This is the video diary of group A, during our four days of trying to come up with a concept for “quality time”. Don’t ask.. but enjoy.